Big Brother

Right now I am sitting in very grubby clothes, with no make-up writing this entry. I have been scrubbing down the bathrooms and, for any of you who have small boys, you know what a vile task that can be. Well, about ten minutes ago I decided to take a break and eat some crackers while I watched the news. Just as I bit into my first cracker the doorbell rang. I could not imagine who in the world was coming to visit, so I got up and tentatively opened the door. I am greeted by a man with a badge who says he is from the Environmental Government Agency and wants to look at my apartment. What does he want to check, you are wondering. Well, he wants to see if there is any standing water on our premises that could be a potential breeding ground for mosquitoes. Singapore cracks down hard on mosquitoes since they carry so many diseases. There are double decker buses that drive around the country with enormous pictures of mosquito larvae (pretty nasty when they are eight feet tall) with slogans screaming, "If they breed, you will bleed". But I digress. The guy comes into my home and asks to see all my potted plants. He then asks to see my bathrooms. This is the first time in my life when a guest can see my spanking clean bathrooms before the kids have had a chance to desecrate them (that was a very happy moment during the inspection). He then asked me if I have been bitten by any mosquitoes in the past couple of days. I told him I get bit by mosquitoes every day. He became very concerned and asked if I was specifically bitten by any mosquitoes in my home. When I replied in the negative that was the end of the inspection and he left.

Another funny Singapore-ism. For those of you who attended BYU, you will love this since "Police Beat" was a favorite of most students. Well, Singapore has its own version of Police Beat - it is a an entire section of the newspaper where citizens can publicly flog other residents of the country. Civilians can submit photos of others breaking the law (these photos also come with an explanation of the law being broken with the photographer's personal comments). For example, one picture was of an expat woman clipping her nails on the subway. The caption went on to say, "An expat woman thoughtlessly clips her nails in public. How disgusting of her to leave her clippings all over the place." Another photo was of a man laying down on the subway. Asians find feet very disgusting, and so this caption went on about the filth this man was creating by putting his dirty feet on the subway chair. (Mind you, all the chairs on the subway are plastic - not an ideal breeding ground for bacteria.) 

Remember: Big Brother is watching.....

On to family life.....

Scott is back in Thailand. He called last night and during the conversation he mentioned two very funny things. (1) He cannot find the movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" anywhere because the Thai government has cracked down on bootlegged movies. Later on the in the conversation, Scott was telling my how an entire ship of American sailors is on leave in Pattaya. I think the phrase Scott used was, "There are 6,000 sailors running amuck over here." (You can all imagine what that means.) It was then that I came up with a new slogan for Thailand: It's immoral to buy/sell bootlegged movies, but prostitution is just fine. 

As most of you know, I hate exercising. I now have definitive proof that exercise hates me back. Since I have three weeks until my return to the Motherland (and I look exactly the same as when I left), I decided that I would run five miles a day, five days a week. On Tuesday I ran/walked my five miles. The next day, I was determined to run the whole time. At about four and a half miles I realized my big toe on my left foot as killing me. I got home and removed my shoe and sock to discover that MY TOENAIL IS FALLING OFF!!!! I thought that only happened when one runs a marathon or something. I am terrified of having a bald big toe for my summer visit, so all exercise is on hold until I can be sure that I can keep the nail intact; about one-third of it is still connected to the skin and I don't want to aggravate it further by running again. I was so mad that I ate two huge pieces of chocolate cake to calm myself down. So not only do I have the potential ugliest big toe in the world, but within five minutes I tacked on all the calories I had just burned during my five mile run. I give up! 

With Scott being gone, the boys and I have gotten into a nightly routine where I make a huge bowl of popcorn that we all share while we watch about 45 minutes of a movie. It's a nice little tradition for the three off us. 

Well, I better get back to scrubbing down the house. I have two hours until Jacob is to take my on his Student Lead Conference. He gets to take me to all his classrooms and show me all he has learned/done during the school year. I cannot wait to go - an neither can Jacob. Every five minutes he asks me if it is time to leave. No son. Here's a broom, why don't you help Mommy clean while you wait!