My apartment = Party Central

This week has been loads of fun.

Scott left for Thailand (yes...again) on Monday morning. Oh wait! I already mentioned that on my last post. Anyway, the vacation is over and it is back to being a single mom.

The boys had this past Tuesday and Wednesday off for Parent Teacher Conferences. I was scheduled to see both the boys' teachers Tuesday morning. I was planning on sleeping in, but got a wake up call at 6:50am. It was from an "Auntie". (Translation: what children call their helpers). This particular "auntie" is the helper for one of Jacob's friends. His parents have been out of town for a week and a half, and I guess the Auntie is burned out because she was calling to ask if he and Jacob could have a playdate. In my tired stupor I said, "Sure. Do you want Jacob to come over?"

"No, no. He wants to come to your house."

Sure he does. He is the one who wants the playdate at my place.

Anyway, we arranged for me to pick up Jacob's friend at 2pm. I then went and got ready to head off to my Parent Teacher Conference. I met with Jacob's teacher first and was very happy to hear Jacob is on par with where he needs to be. After wrapping up with Mr. Yowell, I went downstairs to meet with Andrew's teacher. I walked in right on time at exactly 11:35am. The second I walked in I announced, "I'm on time!" 

The teacher then shyly told me that my appointment was for 10:35am. Shoot! I apologized profusely and told her I was still thrown off from my vacation. I know one should have the opposite effect after vacationing, but I needed an excuse. Luckily I had come baring a plate off cookies, so that made me feel a little less guilty for completely botching my appointment. She was very nice about the whole thing and we rescheduled for Monday.

Alright - so 1:30pm rolls around we set off to pick up Jacob's friend. When I arrived at the apartment complex, Auntie is outside with both the friend AND his little brother; both of whom are running to my car waving. I immediately broke out into a cold sweat. Auntie approaches the car and tells me that little brother wants to come to. As she is telling me this, Little Brother was already buckling himself into my back seat I did not have the heart to kick him to the curb. Auntie then tells me, "They want to have dinner at your house." Ummm. Okay? Did you know in American culture that is considered a little rude? (Let alone inviting your steward to someone else's home and doing a surprise attack with a second child?) 

Off I go, with four children illegally buckled in the back of my car. About three seconds into the drive, the kids started to go nuts.

Now, I admit it - Jacob and Andrew are both very loud children. I am constantly having to tell them to keep their voices down. Well, Friend and Little Brother blew the socks off my kids' volume levels. The two brothers kept screaming at the top of their lungs. I could literally feel chills go down my back every time one of them opened their mouths. And they weren't even shouting words...they were just shouting.  My repeated attempts to get them to not yell were completely futile. I was dying to get home and release the children onto the hill next to our apartment. 

We got up to the apartment, and somehow, the volume level increased another few decimals. (Which was actually quite amazing). I was just about to say, "Hey! Let's go outside!" when KABOOM. (That is my typed version for the sound effect for very loud thunder). It was one of those freak Singapore storms that comes from no where. The skies were suddenly black and rain was falling...which ment I was then trapped in my apartment with four very hyper little boys. I went into my kitchen to try to escape the sound of the boys playing Star Wars, only to have Older Brother come in, "What are you going to make us for dessert?" Okay, I was bugged...but I am physical incapable of passing up the opportunity to bake. The boys decided on brownies. The next hour was spent like this:

scream

yell

thud

"Are the brownies ready"

"No. I am still making them"

yell

yell

Andrew crying in pain

"Can we eat the brownies?"

"No. I just put them in the oven. And...you need to eat dinner first."

thud

shatter

"Where are the brownies!?"

"They are still baking." (Note the forced strain in my voice to sound pleasant)

thud

yell

"OUCH!"

I think you get the idea.

I was so happy when the day was done. When 6:30pm came around, I (a little to happily) announced, "Time to go home!" Little Brother then suddenly realized that I had not taken them swimming (they had brought their bathing suits to my house). I explained that they couldn't swim because it was raining..and thundering. Not safe. 

Little Brother then started to cry and whine/complain that they didn't get to go swimming. By then, fun Mommy had vanished and I looked down at him and said, "Seriously? You are going to cry over this?" Yea, that got him to stop.

Wednesday, Jacob had scheduled for a female friend to come over our house. I was thinking that a girl would be a lot less rambunctious than two boys. I was right. In fact, I was more than right. After about 30 minutes, Jacob and the girl had no idea what to do with each other. (Jacob still has yet to learn that girls do not want to play Star Wars for prolonged periods of time). Since they had run out of things to play, Jacob decided to treat the girl to one of his favorite movies, "Nacho Libre". Jacob tries to show this movie to everyone who comes to our house. Last time, he showed it to his little Korean friend who looked totally confused the entire time. The reaction from this girl was not much different. 

I tried to spark up the fun by building the kids a tent. That helped for about ten minutes.

I know I am mean, but I refused to be the party planner for the playdate. In my opinion, the point of the playdate is for the kids to entertain each other. Anyway, Jacob and his friend made it through the five and a half hours she was here. (Yes, five and a half hours!)

This morning I promised myself that no one besides those sharing my DNA would be coming into my home. Right after school, Jacob's friend, Jacob wound up at our place. While I was still pretty burned out, he is always a treat to have over. He is not loud and he and Jacob have a blast together. Anyway, that was my favorite playdate of all this week.

Alright. I had to get those down before I forgot all the specifics. Below I included a few of the funny comments and conversations I have had with the boys over the past few days.

JACOB IN THE CAR:

Me: Did you know that in a week from Friday, Daddy and I will have been married for ten years! Isn't that crazy?!

Jacob: So Dad hasn't slept for ten years?

Me: (In a very nervous tone) What are you talking about!?

Jacob: Daddy says you wiggle a lot when you sleep.

ANDREW AT THE TABLE WHILE I AM IN THE KITCHEN:

Andrew: (calls out to me) If you whip a girl, she comes to you and you kiss.

Me: (Angry and scared) What did you just say!? (Andrew has had a "bondage thing" since he was about 9 months old. I was worried that whipping was being added to his repertoire).

I then stormed into the room to discover him watching "Indiana Jones", and completely burst out laughing. Andrew did not get what was so funny.

I am now thinking I should be a little worried that he may actually try one of those moves on one of his little girl friends. Watch out Lindsey!

JACOB AT THE MASSAGE PARLOR:

Masseuse: How old are you?

Me: 30

Masseuse: 35?

Me: No, 30. 

She shrugs. (Not good for the self esteem)

Jacob: You are 30!? How old is Dad!?

Me: 32.

Jacob: But...I thought you were older than Dad! 

And there goes the last shred confidence I may have had.

JACOB, YESTERDAY:

After falling onto my (unshaved, stubbley) legs he yells, "Ew! Gross! What's that? It hurts!"