Thumbs Down to the Doctor

This past Sunday, the boys had their annual Primary Program. It was fantastic. The program opened with all the children standing. In front of the children, stood one family to the left, a daughter and father in the middle, and a mother with her four children on the right. "I Am a Child of God" began to play and the family on the left sang the first verse in Dutch, they were followed by the father and daughter who then sang it in Spanish. Next was the mother and her daughters who sang in German. When they had finished, the entire Primary sang the first verse in Mandarin. It was one of the most emotional and spiritual things I have ever seen. Even writing this I can feel myself choking up. Anyway, it was a wonderful program.

That evening we were singing some of the songs from the program with the boys. My favorite moment was when Andrew was singing, "I Love to See the Temple". Here is Andrew's version:

I love to see the temple

I'm going there some day

To feel the Holy Spirit

To listen and to play

Jacob had a funny comment while we were reading scriptures this evening. We were reading the story in the New Testament about Zacharias and Elizabeth preparing to be the parents of John the Baptist. In the story, others feel that the baby should be named after the father, Zacharias. Jacob, who was reading the story, stopped and said, "That doesn't make any sense. That would be too confusing if they had the same names. Then one of them would have to go by Zacharias and the other one would have to go by 'Zach" or something!" Only Jacob would shorten a scriptural name to "Zach". Pretty soon he will be referring to Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego as the Shaq, Mac, and Abe. 

These two little guys never cease to crack me up.

Yesterday was my first experience with Urgent Care in Singapore. I have been feeling pretty lousy the past few days. On Sunday night, I developed horrible stomach and back pains which would not subside. I was awake until about 3:30am because the pain prevented my being able to sleep. Monday night was the worse. By yesterday afternoon I could not bare the thought of another sleepless night. My friend, Shannon, offered to watch Jacob and Andrew while I went to the hospital.

They got me in to see the doctor surprisingly fast. Also surprisingly, the doctor had something stuck in his teeth and ill-fitting pants which had been patched in a number of places. I know that one should not judge a book by its cover, but in the medical industry I feel that rule is null and void. 

I explained to the doctor what had been going on and he says, "Well, are you pregnant?"

Without going into the gory details, there is no biological way I could be pregnant. I told him this fact (with the gory details) and he seemed baffled. He then told me I may have appendicitis, an ectopic pregnancy, or acid reflux. He sent me off for a couple of tests.

Alright, this was when my visit went from weird to lame. I was led into a tiny, dingy room and instructed to lay on a bed that I am convinced was made out of cement. The nurse took my right hand and started to search for a vein. Suddenly, there were four other hospital workers crammed into this room watching her try to start what I am guessing is an IV. I heard a crunching noise and then felt a horribly sharp pain in my hand. I forced myself not to scream and the nurse said, "You have very small veins." Why, thank you. 

Since my right hand had such small veins (which is funny because they seem to get bigger every year I get older), they decided to go after my left hand. After a couple of tries they finally got the needle into my vein. Now here is the best part: they were trying to draw blood from the newly created port IN MY HAND!!! Obviously not a lot of blood was coming out, so the nurse started to twist and squeeze my wrist in attempts to get my blood to flow. Again get the "small veins" comment. At this point I am about the yell at someone. 

Realizing this could go on forever I said, "You use my arm because it has a nice big vein." 

The tourniquet was strapped to my arm, she tapped the inside of my elbow, and says, "You have very small veins," again!!! I thinking this may be the only English sentence she knows. In frustration I replied, "Really!? Because I have my blood drawn every month from this vein and they never seem to have a problem." Miraculously they were able to insert the needle and my lowly vein which offered up a sufficient amount of blood.

After drawing my blood she handed me a wad of gauze to hold over the opening, and left. Mental picture: I have an IV port hanging out of my left hand, and the blood was drawn from my right arm. A little painful/awkward trying to hold the gauze in place. 

After being in the room for an hour, an orderly walked in to get something. He looked at me and could tell I was not having the best time. He asked for my name and said he would check on me. I became hopeful I may be released from my medical prison, but I never saw him again. 

Feeling desperate, I texted Scott to tell him that I missed him. I think Scott felt bad for me, because he excused himself from a business meeting to come sit with me in the hospital. It was so sweet of him and I don't think he will ever know how much that meant to me. 

We were in the room for at least another hour. Scott started to play some tunes for me on his phone. It was quite funny and I have a sneaking suspicion it made the staff a bit more aware of the fact that I had been in there too long. Ten minutes after the music began, the doctor entered. His opening line:

"Well, you are not pregnant."

Aaaaaaa! I know that already! Now I have to pay for that stupid test on top of everything else.....boo to you!

Basically the doctor never came up with a great answer. So I was sent home with a swollen vein in my hand, about three prescriptions, and a $350 bill. Thanks to my medical issues, we are rapidly closing in on our $900 deductible (to bad I only have 35 days left until it is moved back down to zero).

My last Singapore moment for this entry:

SINGAPORE THINKS TYRA IS TOO VOLUPTUOUS FOR TV

I was watching "America's Next Top Model" the other day and suddenly a giant V made out of feathers appeared on the screen. I initially thought it was some sort of advertisement, but then realized the feathers moved whenever Tyra moved. I told you they censored things out here! I love how "cheap vegas showgirl" it looks.