Nip/Tuck?....This Sucks!

Alright, so......

Often when you have one of these incredibly cute little things......

You wind up with these, incredibly, not so cute (and not so little) things.....

(These are not my legs, btw)

In my mind, I think that as a reward for having children, I should be blessed with legs like this. I have never had legs like this, but I feel I am entitled. I know the best way to achieve such legs is to probably diet and exercise. However, a couple of weeks ago I thought it might be easier (less time and less pain) to just have everything sucked out.

Enter Woffles Wu. (His first name is pronounced like the breakfast food, waffles). Here is a picture of Woffles. (Yes, I think he looks creepy too).

I was told that Woffles was THE BEST plastic surgeon in Singapore. I decided to pay a visit to Woffles to see what kind of magic he could work on my body.... since I won that bet with Scott that entitles me to his bonus from last year.

I walked into Woffles office which was lined with windows and mirrors. Let's just say, natural light does nothing for the appearance of fat/cellulite. Instead of being given a gown to change into, I was instructed to just lift up my skirt. Yup, can we say awkward!? Yup, so there I am with the choice of either staring at Woffles or the reflection of my less than desirable thighs. I have to say, both were equally bad.

I will not go into the details of the consultation. I will just tell you that the terms "saddlebags" and "sausage rolls" were both used. It was also explained to me that it is "impossible" to exercise away these unsightly characteristics. I will also tell you that I was torn between tears and kicking this guy in the face with my "sausage roll" legs. I am convinced he uses such derogatory terms so as to whittle your self-esteem down to the point where you are willing to pay any sort of money to "take away the pain".

After my humiliation....I mean, evaluation......Woffles then proceeded to go over the cost for my surgery.

tummy: $15, 500

thighs/butt (sausage roll and saddlebag area): $19,600

calves: $9,000

Mind you, these were just HIS costs. These numbers did not include the anesthesiologist, the rooms, medication, recovery, and follow up visit. Oh, or any "touching up" he may need to do afterwards. Once we added up the numbers, my little surgery was going to cost around S$55,000 ($30,00 US). (Didn't that Heidi Montage chick get like 20 things done for that much money?) Then to end with a bang, he then told me that this was going to be a "mega-lipo".

My response: "Really? Do you have to use the word 'mega'?"

Anyway, I left his office with my bruised ego, saddlebags, and sausage rolls determined to prove Mr. Woffles (I refuse to call this man a doctor) wrong. Looks like I will have to go the old-fashioned route if I want good legs. I also feel that getting a pedicure every two weeks also makes my legs look better :P (Not really, but I like the excuse).

We will now move on to what is going on with the rest of the family.

I don't know if I am allowed to write this on here or not, so I am going to anyway. It looks as if our little family will be leaving Singapore sometime in the ensuing months. Some of us are excited, some are devastated (meaning Jacob), and some are on the fence as to how they feel. It has been a wonderful experience, but Scott and I are ready for the next big adventure in our lives. We have no idea when or where we will be going, but are hoping to find out sometime in July. Needless to say, this summer is going to be a little crazy.

I guess I ought to recap the last month.

First off, we were super lucky to have my brother, Greg, and his wife, Renee, come to visit us here in Singapore. We had a great time with them for the three days they were here. For those of you who watch the Amazing Race, you will recall that one of the legs during the last season took place in Singapore. We decided to hit two of the challenges with Greg and Renee: the Singapore Flyer and the Mega-Zip-line (AAAAAAAA! that stupid word "mega" again. Note to self: introduce Singaporeans to a thesaurus).

Guess I should have offered to take a picture of Greg on the Flyer. Instead, he wound up taking pictures of us. Sorry, Greg. (Just so you know, Jacob and Andrew were at school while we did this).

Matthew was a huge fan of the Flyer.

Greg and Renee suited up to go on the Mega-Zip-Line.

And here is our family (minus Matthew).

It's hard to tell in this picture, but Jacob and Andrew had to go tandem so they would weigh enough. For some reason it cracked me up that they were literally tied together for this thing.

Two days after Greg and Renee left, we had a ward party. The theme was "tacky tourist". Our activities chairman rented two open-top double decker buses and we were all expected to come as tacky tourists. Somehow an hour before the party, I was looped into being one of the tour guides. Part of my job as to walk around Singapore holding a yellow umbrella so the group could follow me. Needless to say, I got a few stares during the night.

The boys wanted to try on our wigs after we got home. I think they look pretty good with fros!

I also have to give a shout out to Andrew for his first stage appearance. His kindergarten class put on the "Three Piggy Opera". Andrew was thrilled to perform, but was very unhappy with the pink shirt.

Last month also had the boys doing their Student Led Conferences. It is a day where the children get to take their parents on a tour of all they have done throughout the school year. It is really fun and amazing to see all that they have accomplished during the past eight months.

After Student Led Conferences, I met up with a mutual friend of mine at a place called Snow City. Her youngest son and Andrew are friends, and Jacob is currently in deep "like" with her daughter (they are in the same third grade class). I have to say, Snow City was a bit of a let down (not much snow), but the kids all had a blast. It is basically a giant room where the kids can go inner-tubing. The best part was that is was cold inside. Felt sooooooo gooooooood!!!! Aaaaaahhhhhhhh..........

Alright, I am going to wrap this up. I just have to post this last picture. I had left Matthew on the floor while I did something in the kitchen. When I came back into the family room, this is what I saw. My heart melted.